Her Glory
Where does one start from, talking about a woman and her hair… the bond, the beauty, or source of delight? It’s a beautiful intimate relationship that is well treasured and sometimes complicated. Our hair stands out right from childhood. It is one of the closely defining features of our physical appearance and self-perception.
A woman’s hair is deeply rooted in her identity and feminism. It is knitted into the very fabric of her beauty and youthfulness. Her hair speaks tons about her personality and the kind of day she is having. On a good hair day, it boosts her confidence enough to face any challenges, walking with her shoulders extra high.
My 7-year-old daughter has beautiful, soft, rich curls, and she knows it! She tells me how she would like it worn on different days and occasions. She has full understanding of her hair’s uniqueness, that it tells a story of her cultural roots and an essential part of who she is. She wears it with pride, smiles and says a soft “thank you” when complimented, which is nearly always :).
When We Lose Control
“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” Coco Chanel’s quote
This I can relate with. At a crucial point in my life, I made a few drastic changes, my hair inclusive. I left it natural, unpermed and embraced the beauty of my afro hair. It was stylishly cut low, with a touch of stunning ginger hair colour. Well, you can say that I clearly sent out a message of a new, brave me!
In the medieval or war times, a woman’s hair would be shaved to shame or punish her. Hair shaving has however evolved over the years, with many ladies choosing to wear their hair pretty low and shave hair from other parts of the body for various reasons. These range from personal choice to aesthetics and hygiene.
In recent times, the Iranian women cut their hair to show their displeasure and stand in solidarity with other ladies.
We generally have control over our hair and its growth, however at some point in some women’s life, they lose that control. Unless you have experienced it, you could never imagine how they felt.
Jada Smith’s story shows that hair loss is a real struggle some women go through, this is a choice they have not made. She said, “I’ll tell you it was terrifying when it first started. I was in the shower one day and then just a handful of hair, just in my hands, and I was like “oh my God am I going bald?”
This resonates with the personal story of an incredible lady I know who has had a difficult time with alopecia. She has beautifully shared her story, exclusively, with Healthy Ebony Woman.
Tola’s Story
Tola’s hair was long, dark, thick, voluminous and beautiful tight curls. “My hair is indeed an intimate part of who I am,” stated Tola. “My hair was a dream for any hairdresser and I got lots of compliments”
“Right after I got married my hair started to break, ever so gradually, I did not think much of it until one day my hairdresser pointed the extent out to me” she said.
It was a gradual hair loss, which the dermatologist suspected could have been related to stress and or hormonal changes in pregnancy. Although they could not pinpoint the actual cause.
“I was eventually left with bald patches and scarring of my scalp”, Tola continued.
Specialist treatment included disease modifying drugs, which she found to have unacceptable side effects. She used topical steroids for a while, as well as minoxidil.
“The cold shocking reality dawned on me when the doctors told me my hair will never grow back.” Tola remarked.
Tola had one final hope and card to play, “I considered hair transplant through a trichologist. I attended a few sessions, but things got worse. Eventually I was totally disheartened when I was informed that the hair transplant would not work due to extensive scarring”
“Then I stopped trying”
“I accepted this is it”
However, Tola is a woman of faith, a fighter, fashionista and a creative. She loves looking absolutely gorgeous and refused to accept her hair loss lying down.
“I learnt to make my own wigs because they were expensive” Tola said.
She sourced for the materials online and made her own wigs. They turned out so well she got quite a number of requests from friends and family which she did as a side business for a period of time.
“In the summer, the wigs gave me a headache, so I needed to wear my hair low”, Tola said.
On these occasions, she would apply hair fibre to camouflage the bald patches. Although this method needed extra time of daily hair washing which is a plus during humid summer evenings.
Tola pointed out the criticism she faced, especially at the height of African ladies embracing their natural hair beauty. “People disapproved of me wearing wigs because they are not my natural hair. What most did not know was that it was a lifeline for me as well as many other women; I had a strong desire to wear my natural hair!” Tola passionately said. “ Be kind in what you say. No one knows what others are dealing with. Their hair loss could be due to cancer treatment and so many other reasons beyond their control”.
She continued, “Our hair is a beautiful accessory to have, but should not limit us from going out there to achieve what we are meant to. I have seen some women wear their hair loss with pride”.
“Right now, I have come to a place where the totality of who and what I am is not attached to my hair. There is more to me than that “
Have you been affected by hair loss, and you would like to speak with someone or are not sure what treatment or support are there for you? I would encourage you to reach out to your healthcare professional. Thank you once again for stopping by, do not forget to sign up to the Healthy Ebony Woman.
