MENOPAUSE 3: It’s Hot in Here! It’s Dry Down There!!

Hey lovely Healthy Ebony Woman, let’s talk about menopause changes:

1.  Hot Flushes.

2.  Reduced Sex Drive.

3.  Unpredictable Period Flow.

If you have missed the first two parts of the menopause series, you should catch up here.

Hot Flushes

Have you seen some women sweat profusely in the coolest weather, or heard them say how hot they suddenly feel? My mum did for several years, and I remember trying to figure out why? Michelle Obama described menopausal hot flushes, as a furnace in her core!

Menopausal symptoms are quite vast, our ethnicity, disabilities, age, religion, cultural background, sexual orientation and partnership status have profound effects on how we present and perceive them.

Hot flushes/flashes are the principal symptom of menopause that occur in approximately 75% — 85% of women. It increases sharply in the one to two years before the last menstrual period, and usually settles down after 8 years. They can occur as little as once a month or as frequently as every 10 minutes. They are more prevalent in Black and Hispanic women, partly due to genetics, higher BMI and more cases of hysterectomies.

Kiki’s usual sleep time ritual is to cuddle up nicely under her duvet and snuggle in with her husband, however, “it was the midnight’s sweats that first got me (this part I didn’t know from my mum), ” said Kiki. Eventually she had to compromise on her cosy sleep ritual and sleep mostly without the duvet, even during the winter.

Mrs. R had minimal hot flushes, which barely affected her sleep. She said “ I woke up occasionally to some sweat between my cleavage, however I put this down to weather changes at the time, unaware it was hot flushes”.

Temi said, “now I sleep with the fan on at night, regardless of the weather”!

Irregular Bleeding

I absolutely enjoyed chatting with Kiki, who has been downright open with her story.  She said, “another change was (I say was because I never want to experience that again!), bleeding for 6 weeks!! Although, I was not worried about it because my mum had a similar experience, my husband did. On this particular day, we were both watching a film. I got up to get more popcorn when he screamed, “when did you start bleeding again!?”

Mrs R, unreservedly described the main changes she noticed in her body, including the change to her period flow. She said, “My menstrual cycles were always regular and spot on (I used natural family planning for all my children) which was why I most definitely noticed the change, sometimes bleeding twice a month”.

Weight Gain

Most women I have spoken to are not alluding to the fact that weight gain is also a menopausal change. “For me, the most significant change was a drastic weight gain! I was unaware it was due to hormonal changes,” added Mrs R. This was also echoed by a patient I spoke with recently, who noticed weight gain since her period stopped six months ago.

Mrs. R described the gradual weight gain to her usual slimmer top side: breasts, tummy and shoulders, She said, “My shoulders were small to an extent I needed to enhance them with shoulder pads to look fitted in my dresses and work shirts”.

 Reduced Sex Drive

“I do not need to talk about how it affected our sex life, do I?” said Kiki, I quickly interjected, “oh yes you do, because menopause has a profound impact on most women’s sex life!”

Approximately 30–40% of women will experience vaginal irritation, which is caused by the thinness of the vaginal wall secondary to reduced oestrogen level. The dryness causes painful sexual intercourse, and many couples would avoid sex as a result. The bladder gradually loses its elasticity causing urine incontinence and with higher vaginal PH level, most women are more prone to infection including urinary tract infection (UTI).

A specially prescribed oestrogen cream in addition to hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or on its own could help to reduce the discomfort. This will be discussed in details in the next and final blog post in this series.

“The dryness of the vagina made having sex more painful, I lost all sexual drive, did not want to be touched beyond just cuddling, and it was difficult to discuss with my husband at first.” said Kiki.

At some point, she noticed her husband stopped looking at her while dressing up, and this made her so upset. “I thought I was irritating him, maybe because of the endless bleeding? However, I got the courage to have a chat with him after speaking to you. He explained he wasn’t looking at me not because he did not fancy me, but so as not to get tempted and cause me more pain”!

As a result of the close relationship Kiki and her husband shared, it was hard not making love with him the way they used to. Kiki said, “complaining during love making could have a negative psychological effect on men, hence, I am lying down in pain. However, my husband noticed this change and offered to talk about it”.  They both embarked on research, although at times she was not interested in his findings, he remained patient with her. “The use of lubricant during sex, his understanding, and gentleness went a long way to improve our sex life”, said Kiki

Even though their sex life became strained, other aspects of their relationship thrived because of the profound understanding and respect they shared. The additional unrelenting support from her boys greatly helped her through this phase of her life.

Do you need extra support with the menopausal changes discussed in this blog post? Will you be interested in understanding more on hormone replacement therapy(HRT) and bust some HRT myths with me? Then you don’t want to miss the final post on this series.

Much love always.