Why Do Women Talk with Hush Tones About their Periods and Menopause

How comfortable are you talking to anyone about your period concerns aside a medical professional? Have you ever considered this statement, “It’s the time of the month” an invitation to have period talk? Have you ever asked why I drop my voice a tone or two when talking about my period? Why do women struggle to discuss with their line managers how much their monthly cycle or menopause impact their work, and negotiate work adaptations?

I have read through three separate surveys carried out among working women aged 45-55 years old and across those three there was a common theme: a third of them  made changes to their work due to the effect of menopause without explaining why; nearly half would have loved to make changes but could not afford to. In one particular group only 1% of those asked were comfortable to discuss the effect of menopause on their work and most were more likely to leave their jobs than negotiate flexible work patterns with their employers. Some women have mentioned being ridiculed by their company’s human resource department (HR) when their concerns were voiced. 

Another survey showed over a third of women have taken time off work due to menstrual issues and most of them did not disclose the exact reason because of feeling uncomfortable about discussing their concerns, however some would have with a female employer.

Sheryl Sandberg once said speaking up as a female in the workplace is a challenge regardless of your race/ background. This is further compounded by being black, Michelle Talbert talked about black women being labelled “angry black women” who are seen to be aggressive in our approach and intimidating with our words or tone of voice, hence we end up having to work twice as hard to be seen as intelligent and competent women. 

I am a mum of two lovely children, my boy is 9 years old and yes, I have been introducing him gradually to the life of the women in his life, because he is potentially a husband, father, co-worker, policymaker and or influencer; he will one day be in a position to enact changes and first-hand knowledge and understanding of women will best position him. 

My 4-year-old daughter is not excluded, no matter how careful I have been she has caught me with my “pants down” on at least one occasion during my period and questions start flying, like why are you bleeding? In very simple, not overwhelming terms I  have explained,  giving enough information she can digest. At first, I felt uncomfortable but eventually pleased that I had the opportunity to let my daughter know it’s okay to talk about my period.

Most of us growing up did not have the chance to have open talks with our parents, mothers in particular, or our peers. Most times we suffer in silence with whatever issues we had, this resonates with the older perimenopausal and menopausal women voicing their concerns about how their symptoms are affecting their daily lives including work. There is no taboo or prejudices that should be attached to the menstrual period or menopausal changes which are natural phenomena! We need to create an open culture in our society, schools, and workplace to voice our concerns and look to make changes. We are not weaklings for doing this, we are making decisions to better support our careers in a conducive environment. 

You may want to read: Why Would You Not Have Sex During Your Period

There is a great support and help available for a woman having one concern or the other with their periods and menopausal changes, please speak to your Nurses and GPs. It will only take one woman speaking up and making a stand in their workplace to influence change.

Remember your body is amazing and you are made to live healthily, my Ebony Woman, much love.